I have been married for 28 years with the same woman, who could be described as a pimi (physically in, mentally in). Since I was a child, I have always faced the difficulties with determination and strength. The narcissists have detested me since I was 12 years old, and even if the "pond" is full for a man, as in any environment, you have to know how to choose well. For women, the situation is often more difficult: two of my sisters remained single, unable to marry, due to a narcissistic and unstable mother.
The real problem is not the narcissists or Jehovah's witnesses in general, but the lack of preparation and total exposure to the cruelty of others, which creates exactly the situations you describe. I married a kind and smiling girl - my best choice. He is also the best mother I have ever seen, and I deeply admire her for this. I have always defended him from madness within the JW community, and I hope that one day he can really "wake up."
I also want to add that I have not had sex before marriage, because I believe that having a girl and a wife for life is something much more distant and important than sex. For me, a partner for life is much more than physical intimacy; It means building something significant and lasting together.
Often, you are too kind and think that Jehovah will take care of your problems, because that's what is taught. But when you get up and challenge the leadership or the elderly, at the beginning they make you feel the weight of this in the congregation. It is as if I had to remain silent and swallow your problems, because nobody really wants to help you, and nobody wants a nuclear conflict. " In reality, nobody really helps anyone in there, especially the elderly, who are easily offended and then they treat you badly, breaking on you in the congregation to undermine your reputation. Mine was too offensive, and they chose to be mediocre.
They also offered me the place of ministerial servant, but it is clear: either you show yourself capable in internal battles, or nobody will help you. Is it possible that nobody understands it? The spouses should choose with their heads, looking at real qualities, but I am saddened by seeing so many kind people to end up with a devoted JW who, instead of being a husband, becomes an oppressor.
This problem exists in every environment, but inside, there is always a personal decision which, unfortunately, is often not the right one.
Best regards. sorry for italian language